"I thought I was signing up for relationship advice, but now I know how to fight off a Yeti with a toothbrush. Life-changing."

"Dr. Apples’ insights helped me understand the human mind... which turned out to be both fascinating & disappointing."

"Thanks to Dr. Apples, I no longer feel the need to hide under beds. Now, I scare people openly in broad daylight."

"I’ve been to the future, and let me tell you, Dr. Apples' wisdom stands the test of time… unless you’re stuck in a paradox."

"Finally! Someone who understands why unicorns prefer solitude. His wisdom speaks to my soul... and my hooves."

"Dr. Apples gave me advice on how to haunt more effectively. Now I’ve got the living and the dead spooked."